Jupiter may have just saved Earth from a devastating impact event
Something just went down on Jupiter. Monday morning, at 11:35:30 UT, amateur astronomers glimpsed a brief but blazing flash of light in the upper reaches of the planet’s cloudy atmosphere. If past observations are any indication, Jupiter may have just sustained a major impact event. If that’s the case, the gas giant may have just saved Earth from a devastating cosmic collision.
Bitches please. That was the USS Enterprise coming out of warp.
Bless you Jupiter.
Thank you, Jupiter!
I ship it
How long until we can expect the fanfiction?
“Hey Jupiter!” Earth burst in, grinning wildly. “Where are you? Some of my scientists got this theory about your moons and-“
“I’m over here.” The voice calls out from another room and Earth frowns. Why does Jupiter even have rooms? Hesitant, he walks into another room, to find Jupiter. The man is standing shirtless, which could be a little awkward, until he notices Jupiter standing slouched and the red, inflamed burn along his torso.
“Jupiter?! What happened?!” Without a second thought he rushes forward, grabbing ice off a table and wrapping it in a towel, and pressing it to the burn. Jupiter jumps back, and Earth whacks his hand. “Stay still! Trust me, I know what I’m doing. We have actual medical professionals on my planet. We have actual people on my planet.”
“…Hello, Earth.” Then Earth realises his position, kneeling in front of Jupiter and with his hands pressed to the other man’s chest. And he hasn’t even said hello. He blushes.
Must defuse situation. “Uh, hi!” he says awkwardly. “Sorry about bursting in. You know me, always interfering with everything and thinking I know what’s best for everyone, ha ha!”
Jupiter chuckles. “It’s fine.” Earth notices the ice is heating up so he takes it out of the towel, swaps it for more ice. Jupiter winces as Earth reapplies the bundle.
“Seriously though,” Earth says, “What happened?”
Jupiter sighs. “Impact event. Asteroid, comet,” he says.
Earth stops dead. Impact events. He’s seen a few of those in his time, and they’ve always been so much worse for him than anyone else - the rest of his solar system is barren enough it doesn’t count, but him, teeming with life and ideas and species. He still remembers when he lost the dinosaurs, in a haze of fire and ash and poison. Woke up centuries later, smaller and fragile. He loved them so much, and still remembers them. It terrifies him to think of such a thing happening again, even to his humans, with all they’ve done to the planet - he loves them too.
And… Jupiter. “I’m so sorry,” he says, blinking through the haze of emotion.
“It’s alright,” smiles Jupiter, and Earth wants to ask how can it possibly be alright? “It’s not exactly an uncommon occurrence. Largest planet in the solar system; I think my mass just attracts things.”
“What?” Earth leaps to his feet. “But - that’s not fair!”
Jupiter cocks his head to the side. “Greatest mass, greatest target. Laws of physics. How is that not fair?”
“Because - because you haven’t done anything wrong!”
Jupiter laughs again. “Oh, right. You and all your lifeforms, and their concepts - fairness, morality, karma.”
“Don’t mock me; they don’t even all have those, anyway,” Earth huffs. “But how can you… Look at that burn, man. And you’re telling me this is nothing?”
Jupiter briefly looks down at the oozing, crusting thing. “Well, what would happen if I wasn’t here, huh?” he asks. “The meteors - or comets, or asteroids, or whatever - would get past me, hit the smaller planets behind. Your best friend Mars… or Venus and Mercury, nuts as they are. Or you.”
Earth gulps. “You shouldn’t have to do this for us,” he says.
Jupiter smiles, before pulling Earth into his embrace. Um. Okay. “It’s alright, Earth. I don’t mind. After all - I’m a gas giant, emphasis on the giant. I can get by, pretty much no matter what happens. Other people are more important. People like you. You’re… special.”
“I’m not,” says Earth. “I’m not special. Just… self-important.”
Jupiter chuckles again. “You’re better than you think you are. You’re alive, Earth, and that’s the most important thing. You have people, ideas, emotions still to share. You have so much to find, so much to see, so much to explore. You’re fragile, and I wouldn’t let you get set back by just any old meteor. You are special, Earth; you’re gonna fly across the universe one day, and to me that is worth a thousand burns.”
“ you’re gonna fly across the universe one day, and to me that is worth a thousand burns.”
And then I actually started to ship it.
What the hell.
Tumblr: The only place where we have homoerotic fanfiction about two planets.
omg i ship it.
better love story than twilight
((Oops my hand slipped.))
dammit tumblr,this is why we can’t show you too the outside world.
I ship that so hard, omg ;A; I legit cried
Most amazing thing ever… Jupiter and Earth, together forever! :D
In my opinion, it’s one of the best feelings in the world to know that you’re loved. :)
An oldie, but goodie… We made this silly little video for the Avatar panel at the 2008 San Diego Comic Con. It occurred to me that the only versions out there on YouTube were videotaped from the crowd, so I thought I’d post a clean version here (if one can refer to this as “clean”).
Now, I don’t want to cast aspersions or hurt any feelings, but for some of you I feel the need to explain that this is all a joke.
a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, esp. a story with a funny punchline: she was in a mood to tell jokes.
• a trick played on someone for fun.
Who’s going to San Diego Comic Con this year? It is coming up fast. We’re cooking up a really cool panel that, while not a unique format, is different from anything we’ve offered in the past. Looking forward to seeing you there!
Top 10 Relationship Words Not Translatable into English
Compiled by Pamela Haag at BigThink:
- Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start.
Oh yes, this is an exquisite word, compressing a thrilling and scary relationship moment. It’s that delicious, cusp-y moment of imminent seduction. Neither of you has mustered the courage to make a move, yet. Hands haven’t been placed on knees; you’ve not kissed. But you’ve both conveyed enough to know that it will happen soon… very soon.
- Yuanfen(Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny. This is a complex concept. It draws on principles of predetermination in Chinese culture, which dictate relationships, encounters and affinities, mostly among lovers and friends.From what I glean, in common usage yuanfen means the “binding force” that links two people together in any relationship.
But interestingly, “fate” isn’t the same thing as “destiny.” Even if lovers are fated to find each other they may not end up together. The proverb, “have fate without destiny,” describes couples who meet, but who don’t stay together, for whatever reason. It’s interesting, to distinguish in love between the fated and the destined. Romantic comedies, of course, confound the two.
- Cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese): The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.
- Retrouvailles (French): The happiness of meeting again after a long time. This is such a basic concept, and so familiar to the growing ranks of commuter relationships, or to a relationship of lovers, who see each other only periodically for intense bursts of pleasure. I’m surprised we don’t have any equivalent word for this subset of relationship bliss. It’s a handy one for modern life.
- Ilunga (Bantu): A person who is willing to forgive abuse the first time; tolerate it the second time, but never a third time.
Apparently, in 2004, this word won the award as the world’s most difficult to translate. Although at first, I thought it did have a clear phrase equivalent in English: It’s the “three strikes and you’re out” policy. But ilunga conveys a subtler concept, because the feelings are different with each “strike.” The word elegantly conveys the progression toward intolerance, and the different shades of emotion that we feel at each stop along the way.
Ilunga captures what I’ve described as the shade of gray complexity in marriages—Not abusive marriages, but marriages that involve infidelity, for example. We’ve got tolerance, within reason, and we’ve got gradations of tolerance, and for different reasons. And then, we have our limit. The English language to describe this state of limits and tolerance flattens out the complexity into black and white, or binary code. You put up with it, or you don’t. You “stick it out,” or not.
Ilunga restores the gray scale, where many of us at least occasionally find ourselves in relationships, trying to love imperfect people who’ve failed us and whom we ourselves have failed.
- La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.
When I came across this word I thought of “unrequited” love. It’s not quite the same, though. “Unrequited love” describes a relationship state, but not a state of mind. Unrequited love encompasses the lover who isn’t reciprocating, as well as the lover who desires. La douleur exquise gets at the emotional heartache, specifically, of being the one whose love is unreciprocated.
- Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love.
This is different than “love at first sight,” since it implies that you might have a sense of imminent love, somewhere down the road, without yet feeling it. The term captures the intimation of inevitable love in the future, rather than the instant attraction implied by love at first sight.
- Ya’aburnee(Arabic): “You bury me.” It’s a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person, because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
The online dictionary that lists this word calls it “morbid and beautiful.” It’s the “How Could I Live Without You?” slickly insincere cliché of dating, polished into a more earnest, poetic term.
- Forelsket: (Norwegian): The euphoria you experience when you’re first falling in love.
This is a wonderful term for that blissful state, when all your senses are acute for the beloved, the pins and needles thrill of the novelty. There’s a phrase in English for this, but it’s clunky. It’s “New Relationship Energy,” or NRE.
- Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.”
It’s interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves her in the same place: She has a desire with no future. Saudade doesn’t distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time.
Rebloggung again because I find languages fascinating.
These words make English seem stupid.
Bolin is by far my most favorite character in Legend of Korra. He’s so kind and happy and… just everything… He’s so adorable too… I just love him. :)
Asami is curious about Korra.
i am so sorry selkkfk
NEW HEADCANON: ASAMI LOVES THE FIRE FERRETS… BUT NOT BECAUSE OF MAKO.
she has a huge crush on korra, and she went out with mako so that she could get closer to korra
“i wonder if she could lift me up” omg that would be amazing
That Matt Smith episode was really sad…
And the whole thing with David Tenant and Rose was so sad too…
It’s just like it’s a post that’s only here to remind me of all the sad things in Doctor Who… :(
I learned about real loss after I lost the person I loved the most at the time… My ex-girlfriend… Now, our friendship is at a tight spot… and I don’t know where I’m going from there…